The drama starts now. Here goes...


I look forward to...


-having our own flat (by own I mean it'll just be the three of us, not necessarily own it, haha :))

-choosing every piece of furniture that goes in the flat (though I don't think we can afford much kaartehan this time; we need to baby-proof the house)

-being the chef in my own kitchen (goodluck to us!)

-visiting Ikea for some home improvement shopping

-shopping at Rituals, love their shower gel and whipped body cream :)

-bringing Miguel to the park (though this is not until October, after the summer heat)

-going on a desert safari (wasn't able to do this last time)

-visiting Wild Wadi (kelan kaya 'to)

-and attending VCF service every friday

I'm sure gonna miss...

-our early morning walk round the neighborhood

-Miguel's warm morning greetings to the neighbors (oh, he'll be missed for sure)

-Nanay, Miguel's source of comfort when Mommy fails him

-Kuya Pei and other playmates

-the comfort of our home

Haaay, life.

...and I never thought it would feel this good. Did you ever have that anxious feeling of meeting a longtime friend after years of separation? You know, the kind when you worry that you just might not get along the way you used to? Afterall, it's been four or so years that you haven't been together. Surely, time has changed one or both of you.

This is exactly how I was feeling last week at the prospect of meeting my bestfriend who left for Canada in March, exactly four years ago. We were bestfriends since college, and having to work in different companies and different fields after graduation didn't get in the way of our being the best of pals. We remained inseparable. Until, of course, she got married and moved to Canada with her husband.

We kept constant communication all these years; emails, chat and phone calls are subtle ways of bridging the miles between us, though nothing would ever come close to the joy of having your bestriend with you physically especially during the important milestones in your life. She missed my wedding. I had to hear her birthing story on the phone. I missed her son's first birthday party. She missed Miguel's party as well.

Fast forward to today. She came home to take her mom to Canada with her. We've been talking about her homecoming since January and as the time drew nearer, I felt more and more anxious about meeting her. When, at last, we met, it felt exactly like four years ago. It's as if time didn't pass. Of course our topics of conversation now have a wider variety--the newest and most interesting addition, of course, is parenting. I've gathered bits and pieces of useful parenting info from her which I'm excited to put into practice eventually. I am amazed at how much we've changed, and yet we are still on the same wavelength. We instantly picked up where we left off. We still laughed at old jokes in the same kind of witch-like manner, lol :) Time played a fool of us once again, that before all our stories of four years had been shared, it was almost time to go.

On Sunday, she'll be going back to Canada and who knows when we will meet again. I could almost wish she doesn't have to leave. But for now, I am comforted by the fact, that the kind of friendship we share will never fail us...no matter the time and place that may come between us.

"As your child's second year begins, take some time to think about your relationship with your partner. Caring for an infant can wreak havoc on couples. You may find yourselves bickering a lot or just not connecting the way you used to. Don't despair — it takes time to adjust to having another person around. Now that your baby-turned-toddler is becoming less dependent, make a point of getting away to do adult things, just the two of you." ~ Babycenter.com

This mail made my week! I couldn't have said it better-especially the bickering a lot part lol:). For weeks now I've been thinking about what has become of my relationship with Nico. We have established a routine that's completely different from the one we had when it was just the two of us. Of course, the obvious thing is having a baby really changes one's life. So we never blamed each other if somehow, we don't spend as much time nurturing the relationship anymore.

Just the other night (it was one of the very few nights that we still have the energy to stay up and talk), I was telling him how much I feel so disconnected. We realized the difference when we were living on our own in Dubai. The things that we had to do gave us the opportunity to really bond. From the simplest things to the most complex, we depended on each other. With the current situation, however, I feel we could survive everyday without relying on each other. And I'm not comfortable with it.

We are now looking at several options to improve the relationship and our family life. We are praying for guidance to help us make the right decision. We want to be settled soon.

“One doesn’t recognize in one’s life the really important moments until it’s too late”.- Agatha Christie


I was going through my old stuff the other day and stumbled upon this photo.

This was taken in June 2001 during the Marketing-Finance-Supply Coordination Meeting at Evercrest in Batangas. Seeing this photo, I somehow felt a sense of nostalgia and a sudden longing to bring back the old days.

It is only recently that I realized I actually enjoyed the seven years I spent at Caltex (now Chevron). Seven years is not a very long time, I know, but I am thankful to have handled such a job that allowed me to grow professionally and to develop personal relationships with my colleagues. Surely there were times when I struggled with work–I’ve had my share of disappointments as well. As any normal employee would have experienced– yung time na demotivated ka and if only you could just quit!- but after a while, things would get better and you realize you’re happy and contented again.

It was indeed a happy and fulfilling experience and if ever I’d have the chance to work again (read: if Miguel will take a bottle), I will still choose to work with Chevron (ahem hindi po ito naka-attention sa mga ex-boss, nagsesenti lang! hehehe).

Anyways, as I wanted to preserve fond memories with Chevron, I rushed to look for old photos which I haven’t had the chance to organize. I was too disappointed to find out they were missing! My biggest mistake was that I didn’t bring them with me to Dubai so I guess they were mistaken for clutter and thrown away during spring cleaning! waaaaa

Today, I have taken actions to retrieve what’s left of my Chevron past–that is, bug down ex-officemates to send me copies of those photos. Fortunately, my ex-boss was kind enough to search through his archives and sent me these. Sana meron pa…

We never had second thoughts when we decided I would give birth and raise the baby in the Philippines. There were quite a number of considerations before coming to this decision, though, and we felt it was best for all of us if I come home and for Nico to eventually follow. After spending a good amount of time here, we felt like this isn’t the place to start a family—at least not for us. As I ponder further how our time, our days are spent, I realized this is really just a place for work. I couldn’t seem to make a ‘life’ out of the daily routine we follow—wake up, go to work, come home and sleep, same thing the next day…and on weekends—do the housework, probably pass the time in the mall, and before you know it, time to go to work again. We tend to miss the happenings where families and relatives are concerned. With this environment, I couldn’t imagine how we will be able to raise our baby if we choose to stay. Or is it just me?

The other side of the story is that I happen to know some people who seem to have made Dubai their home-those who opted to bring their families here. And when I realize there are these people who are happy they settled here, I wonder if I am making the right choice–especially recently when new work opportunities are presenting themselves again. Just a few weeks ago I received interview invitation from two headhunters which I both turned down since I am already working for IBM. I just promised to send an updated resume which I failed to do.

Yesterday, one of them phoned in again asking whether I am still working and if I want to consider another company. I thought to myself, this must be a better offer as I have already previously indicated my current and expected salary. This made me think once again whether there is any possibility that the right choice is to extend our stay here. But this single question leads to thousand others. Who will take care of Miguel when we’re both working? How will we manage working and spending quality time with him? Should we get a better place? A car? If we are to live here with Miguel we need to have a comfortable place.

Should I even be rethinking our decision or am I just enticed by the single factor which seems at times to have more weight than all others—job opportunity?

it's been two months since i left home and joined hubby in dubai--two long, lingering and boring months! (sigh). i know this is not a good first sentence for an interesting write-up (and definitely not a fitting article for a blog with a title like mine) but this is exactly how i'm feeling so bear with me. i have been fighting the urge to blog about my 'boredom' and been convincing myself to just delight in the chance of not having to wake up early and cram through the early morning traffic, things which i had survived for the past 9 or so years of my life back in manila, but two months is just unbearably long!

having been in a busy, work environment eversince i left school, i had gotten used to being up and on the go 5 days a week at the very least. back during my 'busy days', i usually had to wake up at 430am, leave home before 6 to line-up through the edsa traffic so i could make it to office at 8am. my only comfort was to find my favorite spot in the parking area empty-- i loved this spot cause it's near the elevator so i wouldn't have to walk far and it's a bit secluded which allowed me to filch a 20-min sleep on thursdays- my coded day. on a typical day, i usually had to stay in the office until past 7pm, do some errands after leaving the office, and reach home between 10&11pm, which practically left me with less than 5hours of sleep. i fairly remember an officemate commenting "ngayon ka lang uuwi?? pagdating mo sa bahay, magkakape ka lang at papasok ka na ulet!" and another commented "anong timezone ba dun sa inyo?" they never ran out of creative ways of pointing out how far my place is from the office. back then, i always looked forward to weekends when i could sleep through the entire morning without being disturbed by the recurring alarm that i've set on my phone. addendum: during my last year at the company, weekend became such a luxury. friday nights were spent doing price adjustments (which happened almost every week) and saturday mornings were spoiled by the early morning callers who claimed not to have received my late night advise on the move. worse was when i actually had to work on weekends especially when the advise came in late and i already had something planned which had to be put aside. somehow, i came to a point when i wished things were a bit different. i was hoping the pain on my right shoulder which i am most certain i got from years of (improperly) using keyboard and mouse and battling with formulas in the excel spreadsheet, would forever go away. when the decision to finally quit my job and move with nico to dubai was settled, i was relieved. i counted the days to when i was scheduled to take off.

and then it came. and two months after, i was bored to death. i busied myself with household stuff--cooking, laundry, housecleaning and indulged in my regular pastime--books, mags, tv, mall, internet (i actually found a site called bored.com hehe) and quite recently found new interest on reading the daily paper, a habit which i got from nico. on weekends, we would normally go out to explore this new place, always on our own pace. despite all that, my days are normally blank, i always seem to have too much time with not much to do. i still wake up early, around 530am to prepare nico's breakfast and see him off to work, but i'm back to bed even before he's able to get into the building elevator. i make sure not to get out of bed before 10am as much as i can so that almost half of the day's already spent and i only have the rest of the afternoon to laze.

except today! few hours after i dozed off this morning, i was awakened by a call. i was so certain it wasn't nico since he never calls until lunchtime. i answered the phone with that sleepy voice, which i prayed was not noticed by the other party on the line, and struggled to level my thoughts. seconds later, i found myself explaining my job preference to the caller who happened to be a consultant in one of the (many) recruitment agencies i sent my resume to. side kwento: i only have to stay in dubai for a month to realize that this place has been invaded by people from all over the world, most of whom have only one agenda which is to find greater opportunity. the job market here is so saturated that you can count yourself lucky if you're able to get an interview invitation within 2months after sending out applications. that's why i keep wondering why a lot of filipinos are leaving their jobs in the phils to take chance in this overcrowded market (stats says around 30filipinos come to dubai everyday on visit visa!)

back to my story: i was talking to this lady on the phone and she said she has an urgent requirement for an administrative assistant and asked me if i am willing to be considered. admin job is not the first thing on my wishlist but having suffered 2months of boredom, i gladly said yes. at this point, i would grab any decent job opportunity that will come my way just to stay sane (added to the fact that they pay twice my salary in manila, tax-free, yey!). she would forward my resume to the employer and said would call me on saturday if i am shortlisted. the thing about this job though, is that the office is again far from our place, i have yet to find out if they'll be providing transport service, otherwise i may have to decline. anyways, that's second to my concerns. first, i need to secure an interview invitation and then the rest can be dealt with later.

i suddenly have this feeling that my sluggish state is coming to an end...